The Pope is Dead.

What a RELIEF. I admit that I actually do feel kinda sad that he's dead. I'm glad that he's dead because he's in a much better place. You could just watch him deteriorate and break down in front of your eyes over the past year. And now its finally over for him, for all of us.

I watch way too much TV sometimes and MSM tends to make me into a cynic. So yeah, now its kinda sad. Now I have this "want" to go to Mass tomorrow. Who knows... I will probably do it and see what happens. (If I burst into flames, I'll make sure to blog it) Its probably some odd visceral Catholic guilt from all my years of conditioning, but now that I think of it, its probably more so a sign of paying my respects.

I actually remember when I was a kid that I read a comic book about the Pope's life story (I dunno if this is the actual one). Well, I guess that's all I really have to say.

I think I have to stop exposing myself to MSM so much. It just gets too fatiguing.

Random Ass News NOT covered by MSM...

Since MSM ("mainstream media" - faithful readers I will use this term a lot in the future...) is sucking at their duties of delivering news other than things related to The Pope's Death Watch and The Schindler/Schaivo dispute over the remains of Terri (sans brain), I've decided to play ANCHORMAN and fill in the rest of the miscellaneous headlines:

Neil Young Recovering From Brain Aneurysm
Pope has a fever and the this rock-n-roll Hall of Famer almost pops a vessel in his brain. I wish I could name a song that he did, but I can't. I was gonna say "Crazy Train", but I think that was Randy Rhodes...

Error Puts Strippers on Public Access TV
Did anyone ever happen to come across that kids show from Brazil called Xuxa (pronounced: shoo-shah). If you've ever seen this show, its pretty fucking funny. The main character Xuxa is kind of like the anti-thesis of Mr. Rogers. She's peppy, hyper, and authoritarian (in a chipper way). In her shows, she can be frequently seen dragging children by the arms around stage and forcing them to sing and dance. She seems to like picking on the mulatto Brazilians, but it could be me. Oh, and she's also posed nude for a number of Brazilian tabloid magazines. There was a funny episode of the Simpsons when they went to Brazil to find Lisa's sponsor-child. Anyhow, Bart was watching a Xuxa-esque show on TV that showed "jiggly dancers" with pom-poms pasted to their breasts and motioning, "clockwise, counter-clockwise..." HILARIOUS

My personal favorite NEWS FROM ZIMBABWE!
So this scumbag "wins" yet again, further plummetting his country into "long-term shithole-dom". Per my last report, only one candidate was missing, and I don't think anyone died from these elections! Otherwise being condemned by most of the world as being fraudulent, the elections were pulled off without a hitch! Now someone just needs to put a bullet in Mugabe... well, I guess that could possibly speed up the plummetting process. Who knows... I'll find another shitbox country to pick on.

All other news of the morning is pretty lame, so I won't bore you with the details. Have a great Saturday!

Winner loses title in disability pageant

Janeal Lee, the 2005 Ms. Wheelchair winner (center), has been stripped of her crown. Bitch was NOT dependent on a wheelchair and was snitched out by a pesky reporter. So many directions to take this story...

First, I find it hard to believe that someone would be that pathetic to want to win a beauty pageant that they would have to fake their use of a wheel chair. Does this reek of a sequel to Drop Dead Gorgeous, perhaps?

Second, this is among the top "searched" stories on the internet (after the Pope Death Watch). So we're pretty pathetic for getting off on crazy shit like this (and yes, I admit that I got a chuckle out of it as well).

Third, uhm, what if Ms. Lee prayed to Terri and The Pope and miraculously able to stand! You know, it only takes 2 or 3 validated miracles to nominate an individual (and a dead individual at that) for sainthood. Boy, that would be the BEST scenario!

(Note to readers: unlike most of MSM, YodaBeesh was able to track down a picture of Ms. Janeal LEE (in wheelchair)! BOOOO-YAAAH!)

Pope Death Watch Continues...

Another night where the YodaBeesh wakes up for absolutely no reason at 4:30AM. And here I am.

Anyhow, (after having let the dogs out and poured my first cup of coffee) I just had to check and see if the Pope was dead yet. You know, the news is just WAITING for the man to croak . Well, he's still hanging on! A part of me wants him to pull through. Isn't it ironic how everyone (well, MSM) wanted Terri Schaivo to live no matter what, but now, its ok for Jesus to open His door to PJPII? What's up with that. It ain't just an American hypocrisy, its a CATHOLIC hypocrisy! Geeez!

So, since there has been no progress, I'm not bothering with any cute pics or links to the pope. Just turn the TV on to ANY channel or go to ANY news website, and you can watch the Death Clock there. Oh, well actually, I do have to say, I found an interesting website that lets you place bets on when people die: The Derby Dead Pool

The blogger-side of me hopes that the Pope pulls through. 1) Do what it takes to KEEP THE MAN ALIVE. 2) I just want to serrusly debunk MSM for spending so much effing time on this coverage. Now that would be funny. And look... everyone's already forgotten about Terri! The human side of me is just saying, "Godddd.... just DIE already and let it be over with..."

At least the Perdue family has been able get away from the spotlight (in case you didn't know, Frank Perdue is dead... yeah, the chicken guy).

Interview With A Lesbian (or Everything You Wanted to Know About Lesbian Sex But Were Afraid To Ask)

On March 31, 2005, I interviewed a dear lesbian friend of mine (well, I sent her a questionnaire and she agreed to answer). Rina120 and I love talking about three things: gadgets, cars, and SEX.

The World of Lesbian Sex has always been a mystery to me, so who better to ask than her! Hang on tight, cuz here we go...

1. How old are you and when was your first lesbian experience?
Well hell, I suppose I had my first serious thoughts when I was 22. That would be right around the time I met you buddy :) But I didn't chomp box until 23. I rang a Southern Belle ;)~

2. I remember you when you were "straight". Do you still miss dick?
Since I never succeeded in my fantasy of a nice fat dick, sometimes I do want a penis. But they scare me now. I see them as disease ridden objects that I should stay away from. But I always enjoy penetration. Strap-ons work, although sometimes there is something unnatural about them. You think maybe it's the fact that it's made of rubber and strapped to a female? Hmmm...

3. My perceptions of lesbian life have been warped by a scene from the movie Chasing Amy: a gaggle of lesbian friends who sit around drinking wine and bitch about their sex lives and relationships (not too far off from gay male relationships). Is there anything you wish to add or debunk?
Hmm, it's pretty much the same. When I am around fellow Lesbos, there are a lot of jokes about chomping box and inside jokes that people just don't understand. (Like how you can't eat Buffalo wings and expect to get laid that night. Too much hot sauce on your fingers! OUCH!

Are there any other films that the general public should watchin order to get a better idea of a day in the life of a lesbian?
A realistic Dyke film?

4. Please validate: do the terms "top", "bottom", "versatile", and"rimming" hold the same meaning in lesbian sex as they do gay sex? Please elaborate.
Please see #9. In general, these terms do not exist. Mostly everyone is versatile unless you conform to the extremes of either spectrum. The term "rimming" isn't really ever used. People have licked ass, but there is no term. I think in general because lesbians are more obsessed with the pussy instead of the ass. Gay men love asses!

5. Do all lesbians have strap-on dildos? Any additional toys that we should be aware of? What's up with the "feather"?
NO. Not all Lesbians have strap-ons. As a general rule of thumb, lesbians who have never slept with men don't have strap-ons or toys that penetrate. Nor do they like fingers. Most lesbians who have slept with men like penetration. Of course you run into those who have never slept with men, but love plastic cock! But typically, you see the above rules apply. What's interesting is when you bump into the lesbians that don't like to chomp box. I mean...really! Then what is it that you can do for me?!!

Toys: I myself have the face cock (http://www.fleshbot.com/archives/the-chin-dong-015973.php), but I haven’t used it yet because the last two gals I dated never dated men and hence, didn’t like cock. As far as toys go, the strap on and anything that vibrates are staples for most toy lovers. I myself have a toy chest :) The feather..well, it's just a sex toy for people who don't like penetration. I don't get it either.

6. Please validate: A friend of mine told me that lesbians enjoy watching gay male porn. Is this true, and if yes, for what reason?
I again, believe this is something that is dependent on whether you have slept with men. Every lesbo I know who has slept with men love gay male porn. This is because while we do not want to sleep with men, we can still appreciate the male beauty and gay porn, let’s all admit, have better looking men. Plus it just isn’t as degrading and nasty as str8 porn. I mean, you have a nice hard cock slamming into another guy and they are BOTH screaming about how good it feels. Much different than str8 porn.
Str8 Girl: Oh yeah, that big cock feels so good big boy
Str8 guy: You like my big cock?!
Gay Boy: Oh that cock is soo hot.
Gay Boy: you like that cock?
Oh. Okay so it’s the same. But it's just DIFFERENT when it's men! It seems like they are both getting what they want.

7. Is it possible for a lesbian to be as much of a sexpig, deviant, or into kink as a gay man?
Well. No. There are no Glory holes. There are no Cruising spots. There are no bath houses or steam rooms. There are no hotel parties. There are women who sleep around and like kinky things in bed, but in terms of multiple partners and orgies and places to get off when we feel like it? Nah...Sometimes I wish there were!! Remember, we don't have Viagra or anything like that. And we are out of total commission for one week per month. And if you have a girlfriend, it can be two weeks per month! Although, where there is a will, there is a way.

8. Do lesbians "trick"?
I would say drugs make people do all types of things. But I think that would mostly involve str8 men. I have never heard of women paying other women for anything sexual. But men, gay or str8 will. For example, I never heard of anyone asking for a little something extra at the massage parlor!
(Note to readers: "trick" in gay male terms typically does not involve money, just the act of getting your rocks off with a random guy)

9. In gay-land, there are stereotypes, such as "twink", "queen","str8-acting", "muscleheads"... are there similar stereotypes within the lesbian community?
Well we have all heard of butch and femme and it differs depending on what community you are in. But here is a little more:

Ultra-femme: There are the gals that always wear a full face of make-up, make it a point of wearing a dress as often as possible, and refuse to trim their nails no matter how many bloody pussies they may have caused! They love the salon and the mall! Their profiles usually say "I am extremely attractive and take care of my appearance and you should as well." These are the ones that are typically "bottoms" only. They like to be eaten out and penetrated, but don't like to give their partner too much. At least this is what I am told. I personally can't date someone who has to wear cute little sandals and sundresses at all times. They pride themselves on the fact that "No one ever guesses I'm a lesbian!"

Femme: Gals who know how to wear makeup, has a dress in their closet, but wears them only on those special occasions like weddings. But they feel comfy in that dress dammit! They do their hair, but they also like to pull it back and wear comfy trendy hip clothes (think H&M). Their profile says "I'm feminine but am just as comfy in my jeans as I am in my skirt

Sporty Femme: From my experience, these are the ones who happen to know what lipstick is and they make it a point to wear it no matter how dykie they actually look. They typically have a dyke strut, and dyke mannerisms, but don't ever want to be associated with dykes so the lipstick somehow "masks" this. I have dated one like this before. Maybe two. They think they really are posing! But honey...ALL my friends knew you were a dyke as soon as they saw you!

Sporty Butchy Femme: same as above, but they are usually way more stylish, have short cropped cute haircuts and have that funky grungy style. These are by far, the most popular lesbians. These are the ones that ALWAYS get hit on.

Butch: These are usually the older, stuck in the 80s, mullet hair, flannel shirt dykes. UGH. They have younger ones now, they are mostly the ones who wear the baseball caps.

Total Butch: The ones that are practically men. These are typically "tops" because they want to assume the male role. They will tape their boobs and don't like to be touched, lest you touch their breasts and realize that...HOLY SHIT...they are women!!

10. I've never tasted box. How would you characterize it and what tastes better: box or dick?
Damn. Box varies, just like cock I suppose. It's salty, but not as salty as cum. I know this is going to make a lot of you gay men THROW UP, but it depends on where in the cycle the girl is. Right after her cycle, it's the 'cleanest'. A little salty. The closer to their cycle, it has a slight metallic taste. Think iron..you know..like blood? In general its the smell that makes pussy unique. Its' the kind of smell you can taste and the kind of smell you want on you all day. You can't just sleep with a woman and go back to work. You have to wash up. You have to take a shower or at least wash your ands and face very very well or everyone at work is either going to think you haven't washed your own pussy in so long that they can smell it by walking by you...OR...they will know you are a dyke and just had sex.

Oh and I have never gagged or almost thrown up because someone put their pussy in my face too much, but this happens with cock, so I will take the pussy.

Please feel free to add any additional comments!

In general, it sucks being a dyke. There is usually only ONE bar to choose from in almost all cities, the online dating scene sucks. There are always 500 gay men to 5 gay women. Lesbians aren't as friendly and carefree as gay men. We cant walk into a bar and know that people are going to talk to us. We are shy and a lot of times two people won't find each other because they are both too shy to approach the other. And hello!!? We have NO fashion sense. And what's with the fucking cats? I don't like softball, so there goes most of my social circle! Oh and I've been made fun of because I carry a purse!

Thank you for your time!
YodaBeesh

The Pope: Comfortably Numb?

Sorry, I had that song in my head today, so I had to squeeze it into today's posting. Anyhow, I hope the Pope is indeed comfortably numb... Lord knows that we ALL ARE after this week's media BLITZ. Let's see... who was sick or died this week:

1. Terri Schaivo (starved to death)
2. The Pope (in process...?)
3. Jerry Falwell (stabilized from pneumonia)
4. FRANK PERDUE! (late breaking news...DEAD!)
5. Johnnie Cochran (dead)
6. Paul Henning (guy that created the Beverly Hillbillies - dead)
7. Prince Ranier of Monaco (not dead yet...)

Kinda sucks about Frank Perdue. I love his chicken and thought he had funny commercials.

Anyhow, the Pope is still hanging in there as well. CNN is starting to make me nauseous. They are really prompting people to expect the Death of the Pope. Plus, as much as I think he's adorable, I can only watch Dr. Sanjay Gupta talk about blood pressure so many times.

Sorry I didn't have too much to say today. The news has been kinda weak since Terri died (well now, MSM - mainstream media - is getting a second wind with the Pope). Plus I received a new computer yesterday, so I've spent a good chunk of the day configuring it, etc.

I'm gonna take a nap now, and maybe the Pope will be with the angels when I wake up.

In Memoriam: Terri Schaivo

Now, we all know that death is never complete without a PHOTO MONTAGE! Roll 'em!

Terri Schaivo Photo Montage

Dear Terri:

You're so lucky that you don't have to put up with all this bullshit anymore.

Sincerely,
YodaBeesh

Terri Schaivo RIP: 1963 - 2005

NEWS FLASH: Watching this live now on CNN - Terri Schaivo died this morning within the past half-hour (it is 10:00am EST now). Apparently Michael Schaivo wouldn't allow the parents to be with Terri in her final moments. That kinda sucks. Now the new fight will be where to bury Terri; Michael wants her buried in PA, and the parents want her buried in FL. Oh, and I think that he wants an autopsy of her brain (to prove the deterioration) and then creamate her. At least she's in a better place. This whole ordeal has been sheer hell on earth.

Update: Elections in Zimbabwe and YodaBeesh is Debunked!

Hello kind readers! Earlier in the week, I had a posting about the elections in Zimbabwe and made a prediction that the opposition candidate would be dead by Thursday. Ok, so I was wrong.

Read on in the WP: Zimbabweans Vote in Parliamentary Elections

My favorite quote from the article:

Yet in the towns east of Harare, it was difficult to find voters who acknowledged being supporters of the ruling party. Even a man walking down the street in a ZANUPF T-shirt said it did not reflect his political preferences. It had been given to him the night before, said the man, who declined to give his name. "It's free," he said. "It's an extra T-shirt."

Now that is PROOF positive, that people LOVE tchotchkies!
-------------------------
UPDATE!!!!! (8:39am, 3/31/05)

As I was searching for a nice picture online of "voting in Zimbabwe", I came across another article re. the elections from Reuters. Well, I actually wasn't that off about the opposition candidate being knocked off. Now, I can't say that this other opposition guy was killed off, but he is missing (not the same thing):

On Thursday, however, the MDC said one of its candidates in its southern Matabeleland stronghold had disappeared after an attack by ZANU-PF backers on the eve of the poll. The MDC said Siyabonga Malandu disappeared from his Isinza constituency 90 miles northeast of Bulawayo.

So who knows... my YodaBeesh prediction may yet be fulfilled! Here's to the new "powderkeg" of Africa...

Addendum to CNN Rant: Thomas Roberts

I've already received some feedback from a kind reader regarding my post on the CNN crew: I totally left out Thomas Roberts. I have to be quite honest and say that he wasn't on my "radar screen" since he's a Headline News anchor (and I tend to stick more with CNN on a daily basis). Kudos to RB for pointing Thomas out. I do admit that after I received that comment, I came across Thomas doing the news during the Anderson Cooper 360 show. I'll make sure to be more vigilant in my newswatching bc Thomas is fucking hot!

Morning Sickness: HP's new CEO!

Ugh... I just read this article in the WP and it made my stomach turn.

HP Giving Hurd $20 Million 'Golden Hello'

Now when I say "it made my stomach turn", its just nauseating to think that one could have so much money thrown at them. I do hope he turns HP around. They make a good product, speaking as a former HP notebook owner. Though quite frankly, Hurd isn't exactly a hottie. He's missing that sex appeal factor. Ex-CEO Carly was a real spitfire. Dunno if she enjoyed box, but she'd make a good lipstick lesbian.

Getting back to the compensation though, I have a message to my current employer:

I add value! And all that YodaBeesh wants is ONE MORE WEEK OF VACATION. Are you listening to me? ONE MORE WEEK OF VACATION. Mark Hurd gets an interest-free mortgage! And all I want is ONE MORE WEEK OF VACATION.

I wish I could at least BUY vacation time from my company.

Hugs,
YODABEESH

Postcards from Hell II: Laurel, MS

Kind readers, I've received a message from KweenBeesh via carrier pigeon last night from Laurel! Read on!

The Comfort Inn Suites in Laurel, MS.

Dear Yodabeesh,
I am truely touched to see that you paid a tribute to my misery while I am suffering in a shithole city like Laurel, Mississippi. I think come to think of it that place you wrote in your blog a few days ago...gosh what was the name...someplace in the USSR.... Krygystan or someplace or the other was probably a more happening place than Laurel, MS. I knew it was a bad sign when we pulled into our hotel parking lot Monday evening called Comfort Suites, there was a huge neon sign blinking that read, welcome to the comfort zone! LOL. I had my serious doubts. The comfort suites is rated number one in the entire city of Laurel, so I was scared to find out what the other hotels are like here if ours is ranked the best. There's no high speed here or room service at the hotel and to gauge a true measure of the city, when we asked the guy at the front desk if he could recommend any good restaurants in the city to have dinner in, he said oh we don' t have any nice expensive upscale places like Applebees or the Red Lobster here. Didn't know if I should have laughed or cried at that comment. Its pretty pathetic. So we drove about 35 miles to a nearby city called Hattiesburg to eat dinner at Copelands. Highlight of Hattiesburg....well it had a Best Buy right across from Copelands and Copelands had a fully stocked bar which we all went nuts in. That was the only restaurant in the 50 mile radius of Laurel, that serves alcohol so you can imagine how appreciate we were of that. Anyhow, you asked me how the shopping here was, so let me give you an idea. The only 2 stores that I recognized in the entire city of Laurel were Payless Shoes and Walmart, yes I am shocked it has a Walmart!!! The best places to eat here are the Waffle House, Shoney's ( that is very much like Ponderossa which I also refer as Pondergrossa) which I will avoid at all costs and some mexican place. I don't think I trust eating Mexican food in a city where half the guys drive pick up trucks with a confederate flag on the front license plates. I am yet to spot a human being of a hispanic origin in Laurel. We are working in a community health clinic and we have been told that the guy across the street from our clinic owns a pharmacy and is a bigot and doesn't like fat people or black people. Since my co worker is a rather heavy set african american woman, I guess I am shit out of luck! To make things worse, today I came down with a bad cold and now I am doubly miserable, coughing, sneezing and feeling feverish. I think tomorrow we have a tornado warning here. Please pray that I am able to get outta this shithole and make it back safely to da big apple!! Dorothy said it best.....There's no place like home....there's no place like home! I am trying to click my heels hoping I wake up in my bed tomorrow morning! Can't wait to log into AIM and chat with you beesh! I am glad you were able to feel my pain!

Hugs and Kisses,
Kweenbeesh

KweenBeesh, we will continue holding vigil until your return. God Bless.

Confessions of a CNN Junkie

I admit it. I'm a CNN junkie. I always have it on. I might be putzing around doing something, but CNN just plays in the background. Its kind of addicting. As a matter of fact, I'm watching Inside Politics right now, and Candy Crowely is standing in for good ol' Judy Woodruff. She kinda looks like Carnie Wilson, right?

Serrusly, I do like Candy-girl. She was all over the place with the presidential campaign. She also dresses very smartly... sticks with dark solids (looks more slimming).


I don't think that Bill Hemmer is all that. Lately, I've actually had A LOT of issues with his shirts. Check it out next time. He wears these white dress shirts with blue stripes... and the stripes look like they've been taped on. He likes that shirt a lot and wears it at least twice a week. He looks really smart with his glasses, but I think that he'd really benefit from Lasix.

I love the rest of the morning crew on CNN : Jack Cafferty, Soledad O'Brien, Carol Costello, and Chad Myers. Jack just CRACKS ME UP bc he can be really bitter, cynical, and opinionated.

OOOhhh there's also that hottie Rob Marciano: He is REALLY YUMMY. I call him "Arnold's lil' brother" bc he reminds me of a hot-looking Arnold Schwarznegger (I don't think that Arnold is hot, btw)


Of course, my all-time favorite is Anderson Cooper. Where to start? Dashing, intelligent, salt-n-pepper hair, good skin. I bet he would be sooo much fun to pound back a few martinis at G or Therapy. Word on the street is that he's a rice queen, but I've only heard that from a friend of a friend of a friend... one could only hope! I hope that his show Anderson Cooper 360 sticks around. I had this really big fear that it was gonna be replaced by Nancy Grace's show, but luckily she has some primetime slot at Headline News.

You know what... I actually kinda like Nancy Grace! She is just soooooo CRAZY and outspoken and a complete drama queen. I love it. She had a horrible tragedy (her husband was murdered) and that's why she went into law. There's this cute boy-analyst that she always steamrolls over... I forget his name... Chris something or other...brown hair. Oh, he's adorable!


Let's see who else... I haven't seen a lot of John King lately. I think he must be chilling out or something. Has anyone seen him out and about in DC? He makes my radar go off... I mean, serrusly, look at his perfectly coiffed hair!

Well, that's my commentary re. CNN. All opinions are welcome. I'm sure that I've overlooked a lot of peeps.

Postcards from Hell: Laurel, Mississippi

A special "shout-out" goes to KweenBeesh who is fortunate enough this week to be travelling for work to the tiny shitbox of Laurel, MS! I have been informed that her motel does not have hi-speed internet, so her online presence is sorely missed. Hope you come back in one piece and take it easy on the Southern fried food (chicken, okra, pigs feet, etc). Can you bring back some pics or souvenirs of your journey? Most importantly, let us know how the shopping is down there.


A few fun facts about Laurel, MS:

• Home of actor Ray Walston of My Favorite Martian and screen actress Parker Posey (!)
• Current Population: 18,881
• Average Temperature:63.8 degrees
• Coldest Month:January with an average low 39.5 degrees
• Hottest Month:July with an average high 92.2 degrees
• Average Annual Precipitation:57.91 inchesLocated 225 feet above sea level

Laurel is:

• 100 miles from Mississippi's Gulf Coast.
• 110 miles from Mobile, AL
• 140 miles from New Orleans, LA
• 200 miles from Birmingham, AL
• 340 miles from Atlanta, GA

To find out more about this hole in the wall, visit http://www.laurelms.com

So much news!

OH gosh... where to start? I wouldn't have so much to blab about if BLOGGER was working yesterday . Bygones. Here we go!

The Pope gets a feeding tube

Irony of IRONIES. So many directions to go with the commentary on this. I am so sure they will NOT be pulling the feeding tube on him (haha... had to throw that low-blow in). The cruelest twist of fate would be if he were to become incapacitated from his decision-making capabilities and had to rely on his feeding tube to stay alive. The DaVinci Code is really fueling my inherent suspicion towards the Vatican. Anyhow, the timing could not have been more perfect.

Johnnie Cochran 1937 - 2005

I do have to say that I thought the man was a sleazeball when I watched the OJ Simpson trial. Total sleazeball. Perhaps brilliant lawyer. These days, I've seen him on all these TV ads for his law firm. So it came to a huge surprise to me that he passed away yesterday!!!! WOW. Anyhow, like I said, I used to think he was a slimeball... anyone associated with OJ was a scumsucker in my eyes; but that was 10 years ago. Cochran has a great trial history, and he's done a lot of good things. I remember seeing him on Larry King quite some time ago (I'm sure they'll replay it on CNN), and he just seemed a lot more human to me.

The Terri Schaivo Saga Continues....

The parents have filed yet ANOTHER appeal (this is day 13 sans feeding tube for the lamb). For the love of GOD... I thought that over the weekend they said that they were done with all the appealing! Anyhow, the new thingie is the restriction of Communion to Terri... basically a head-on clash of the Catholic Church and the US Judicial System. This is getting pretty desperate... just when you think they've exhausted every avenue, GUESS WHAT! Yet another APPEAL! Ugh. And I quote from the WP:

Supporters of the Schindlers accused the courts of infringing on Schiavo's religious freedom, saying, as they have before, that "God's law should supersede man's law." "What court really has the authority to tell someone they can't have a religious rite?" said Paul O'Donnell, a Franciscan friar who has been a constant presence at the side of Schiavo's mother, Mary Schindler.

Did I mention that this is Day 13 for Terri without a feeding tube? tick-tock-tick-tock

More on the Terri front: Enter Jesse Jackson!

Ever heard the term "jumping the shark"? It usually pertains to TV shows: there is some pivotal moment when you just KNOW that the show is going downhill. Best example is the introduction of OLIVER to the Brady Bunch. Anyhow, you know that a situation is gonna go down hill when Jesse Jackson feels the need to become involved. Where do I start with him: his presidential runs, protests at Vieques, his meeting with Saddam to circumvent the war, various other random-ass acts of civil disobedience... <sigh> Why the fuck does he need to get all involved with every cause celebre? I mean, this really reinforces the fact that he's a grub seeking PR. What an odd combo... the Schindler family and Jesse Jackson. Somehow I highly doubt that they solicited his help.

Dude, give it up. You've got some issues of your own to resolve. Help yourself before you help others. What issues do I speak of, my friends? Adultery, bastard child, anti-semitism, drug-dealing son... check it out here: Jesse's Skeleton Closet. Yeah, baby!

Falwell could be joining Cochran!

Fatwell is in the hospital being treated for pneumonia. He's labelled as being in "critical condition." Babygirl even went into respiratory arrest on Tuesday. Wowzers. And of course, since we're playing the "Six Degrees of Terri Schaivo", Weezer had to get his two cents in on CNN by comparing his bout with Ms. Schaivo:

In his Easter Sunday televised sermon and in a CNN appearance that same day, the Rev. Jerry Falwell compared his recent bout with viral pneumonia to Terri Schiavo's condition.

I have a personal message to Jerry: "Sweetheart, Jesus is calling you home. Get off the feeding tube (oh wait, that's the pope). I hope that your earthly kingdom continues making Lynchburg Lemonade. It brings so much joy to fellow homosexuals and alcoholics..."

Whew... more news!

Ex-Scout Leader Faces Child Porn Charges
Fuckin' sleazebag. Ok first off... the Boy Scouts of America (like the Catholic Church) are a hypocrisy; they condemn things (such as homosexuality) as "immoral", yet they harbor these fucking kiddie porn purveyors and child molesters? Hey, here's a hint... fix yourself <insert organization name here> before preaching to everyone else about MORALS. I just don't get it. I had this awesome kooky professor in undergrad who equated the BSA to the fascist organizations of the 1930s amd 40s (think, Hitler Youth Corps). Check it here: Characteristics of Fascist Organizations. Actually you could take these characteristics and apply them to many organizations (ie, US military forces, etc...).

I will always harbor resentment towards the BSA: I never made it past the Cub Scouts WEBLO (eww... I just realized that can be interpreted as "we blow"...). And I always hated the uniforms and never won the Pinewood Derby ...

Mary Cheney to spill the beans out of her BOX!

Check this out from the DrudgeReport... Mary Cheney has just signed up for a book deal!



And I quote:

Mary Cheney, who during the 2000 and 2004 presidential campaigns served as a top aide to her father, will write from her unique perspective as both a campaign senior staffer and as a daughter. Her book will offer a behind-the-scenes look at the high intensity world of political campaigns. It will also offer her account of what it was like to become an issue in the 2004 presidential election.

Kudos to the greedy lesbian bitch for cashing in on her sexuality. I wish I could do that without having to pimp myself out as an escort in the Washington Blade each week. (JK, folks... abt the latter statement. I think still think she's a greedy lesbian bitch.)

Speaking of lesbian writings, here is a top seller among the lesbian community:


Now I think that THIS book would probably be a LOT more exciting than reading about Mary Cheney! There's probably a lot more detailed "box munching" and "strap-on action" involved. If you want to buy this book, click here! Amazon

Have you seen this man?

Has anyone heard from Dave Chappelle?! Where the f**k is the man? DH told me that he's been sick this past year (or sumpthin' like that). Anyhow, Season 2 of his show is being released in May which is supposed to coincide with the start of his new season. Its about effing time they released Season 2! I'm RICK JAMES, BITCH!

Started reading The DaVinci Code...

Due to popular demand (well, more like caving into to a popular trend) I started reading The DaVinci Code last night. I held out for awhile from reading it because it was trendy. Now I'm feeling left out and want to see what the big deal is. Oh, plus it seems to be irritating the Catholic Church, so I definitely have to see what all the hub-bub is.

I like it a lot so far and hope to finish it in the next couple of days!

NEW ADDITION: "Dear YodaBeesh..."

Hey all:

I would really like to make this a more interactive blog experience for ALL. So I encourage you to email me with your problems, issues, announcements, etc, and I would be more than happy to play "Dear YodaBeesh".

Dear Abby is just getting sooooo old and needs a lil' of the Beesh touch. Shoot me an email to YodaBeesh@gmail.com (or to any of my myriad of other email addresses). I'll anonymize all identities.

I am a big proponent of learning from experience. So share those experiences! No problem is too big or small for this YodaBeesh.

Talk about crappy luck...

... another earthquake in Indonesia. These poor people. At least there wasn't another tsunami THANK GOD!

A special shout out to RB's bro, who is hanging out in Jakarta. RB: let us know if you get any news from him (or cool pics).

Sleepless in the 'Burbs

Don'tcha hate those nights when you just wake up totally alert and awake at 1:30 am and you have work the next morning? Yeah, that's me tonight. So what do I do? I have a cookie and milk. I'm sure that all the sugar will probably not help me one bit. I'm hoping that staring at a computer screen will help lull me to sleep.

DH and I watched The Incredibles tonight. I LOVE THAT MOVIE. I wish I had super powers. Mr. Incredible is a stud and I think that Violet's powers (she can turn invisible and make force fields) are the coolest. Wow, my therapist would have a field day with the latter statement...

HAPPY EASTER!!!!!

Happy Easter everybody!

The World According to BARBIE!

If you thought that my perspective on the world was craaaaazy, baby, check this out! From the WP:



The World According To Barbie -- How Does a Real Doll Remember the '60s? Thinly. The shiny-haired, pointy-breasted cultural icon has just been revealed as a secret scribbler -- and, what's more, a historically minded one. Mattel, the toy behemoth Barbie built, has teamed up with Golden Books to launch the "Barbie Diary of the Decade" series. The first two diary books are out this month.

I'd love to conduct an experiment and homeschool a kid purely on the Barbie Diaries. The possibilities of future dysfunction are LIMITLESS!