Day 11 - Getting out of Dodge

Yesterday's visit with mom pretty much sucked. I was there for all of 20 minutes before she once again lost patience with me.

(On a side note, she did notice that I did not visit her the other day. That tells me that she was expecting me or looking forward to a visit. Experiment concluded.)

"So, what else?" "What else?"

These were the token unanswerable questions for each visit. All of the fluff or actual substance I'd provide were never enough.

"What else?"

She grew tired of me and told me to go home.

"Where...?"

"Go home to the US."

"Uh, ok...." I went along with it.

She got up from the table and ushered me out. The nurses nicely escorted me out (they have the keys to the double doors that allow visitors in/out.)

I told her that I was going back to Cabanatuan (today) to check up on her accounts and on her condo (the water was shut off due to leaks and flooding, and the back door needed to be replaced... the area was slammed by recent storms.) I'd be back sometime next week... Monday, maybe Tuesday.

I headed over to the doctor's office in the adjacent building to pay for her bi-weekly injection of Risperidal (a long-acting anti-psychotic medication)... cost = 6500 pesos ($127 USD) I'm hoping that there will be some change after this injection in her mood. Who knows.

I did get to meet with the medical rep (yes, the ubiquitous pharma reps that stalk doctors' offices everywhere.) He was nice... from J&J Janssen, and personally delivered the injection kit to the doctor's office. He told me that results may manifest more prominently between 4 - 8 treatments (this would be my mom's 3rd injection.)

I did rapidly did the math in my head. At worse, 8 more injections under observation meant 4 more months in the hospital. Great. She was already bitching about being in there for 5 weeks. I knew that this would be for the best in order to determine the efficacy of the long-lasting tx.

My cousin, Jo Jo, will pick me up later this morning to take me to Cabanatuan. So, I'm doing some quick packing so that I can run over to Starbucks, upload this posting, and chat with Denny. I'm not quite sure what day I will return to MNL. Probably Monday, maybe Tuesday. I'm just going to wing it. This excursion will be a very nice break for me.

I chatted with a Brit backpacker in Starbucks yesterday. He and I had the same Lonely Planet Philippines guide books, so I struck up a conversation with him. Phillip had been touring the country already for 2 weeks, and now was in MNL for 1 week til he returned to his home in Chang-Mai in Thailand. Truly a world-traveller. I recommended some spots to him in the neighborhood and gave him tips about the area. Me...with all of one week's experience in MNL.

My Lola's birthday is tomorrow. I'm not exactly sure how old she is... I'm thinking somewhere in the 90s, but I will find out. I didn't bring any gifts for anyone. You can only give so much perfume, make-up, and bath products. So, when I go to SBX, I will buy a French Press, a pound of coffee, a box of parmalat and splenda. My aunt loves coffee... though the instant Sanka-type crap that I can't stand ;-) This gift will be have a hidden self-serving purpose of course. It will add some haute-couture to the kitchen.

I'll take tons more pics in the province. Need to pack the mosquito repellent so I don't get dengue hemmorhagic fever ;-) (Yes, it is as bad as it sounds)

On another note, I came came across another American expat in SBX this morning. A chiropractor from Atlanta. He was bitching about wireless access, and our common hatred of pre-paid cards (phone, wireless), so I told him about a place where he could purchase a month-long subscription. He gave me his card, and hopefully I can go see him for a back adjustment. My back has been killing me. I miss my bed back home :-(


Ta for now!- ED

Day 10 - Killing Time

I woke up yesterday morning feeling pretty blah. The weather was fitting enough to set the mood - torrential downpour in Manila. I spent a good chunk of the morning just chilling out in Starbucks chatting with Denny, checking emails, doing my to-do list for the day, and surfing the 'net for things to do.

I wavered as to whether or not I wanted to visit mom. I felt tired, and she kind of irritated me the day before. I needed a break already, and I had only seen her three times. So I dedicated yesterday to "admin" day, and got all of her social security (SS) forms together.

Gathering the forms online was not a problem... getting them printed out was quite an effort! Some challenges:

• my hotel doesn't have a business center
• i burned out my second USB pen drive (grrr...) so the files were stuck on my laptop (I saved the files to my camera's memory card in the meanwhile)
• they don't have anything around here similar to a Kinkos, OfficeMax, etc.
  

I wandered around to the other bigger hotels, like Hyatt, to see if I could pay a daily access fee to use their business center (plus, I wanted to see if I could use their gyms.) I was turned down at three different hotels. So, I headed over to the mall, and came across one of those mom aind pop all-in-one fax/copy/print shops. Luckily, they were able to use my SD memory card and print out all the files that I needed.

SO.. I will go visit mom this morning and show her all of these forms. Hopefully this will somehow satisfy her by giving her something tangible (The forms give me permission to manage her disability account.)

I came to a conclusion yesterday that its hard to find a "quiet place" to just relax and chill out (besides Starbucks.) There is so much hustle-bustle and background noise all of the time that it makes it difficult to just chill and relax. I probably doesn't help that I'm smack dab in the middle of Manila and wind up at the mall everyday. I'd like to find a place just to hang out and read. The only retreat that I have is my hotel room, but that can feel like a prison sometimes. I think that I might just use my mp3 player to tune everything out.

I really crashed yesterday afternoon... took a nap around 17:00 and then woke up at 23:00 to the annoying f**king caterwauling from the K-bar in the back alley. Drunken karaoke singers seem to be amplified in volume. I woke up, opened the window and could see all of the audience in the K-bar transfixed by the screaming singer. She sounded like a BAD Yoko Ono. I felt like I was in one of those Tom and Jerry cartoons where I wanted to throw a bottle at the cat screaming on the fence. Ugh. This went on until 03:00, so I slept intermittently.

I'm going to Cabanatuan this weekend, so that will be a nice getaway from the city. Its still a busy little city, but on a much smaller scale. Guilty to say, but if I didn't feel compelled to visit mom every day, I'd probably go backpacking or wandering around the country. Originally, I wanted to go to Borocay to take some surfing lessons, but now, I'd be happy to just go there and lay in a hammock with a good book, some peace and quiet.

A special shout-out goes to Kurt for FedEx-ing a new laptop battery to my hotel. It arrived yesterday. Up to this point, I had to carry a power plant in my bag (voltage converter, adapter, laptop power pack) and it was becoming verrrrry annoying.

Finally... some pics!

Hey all. Here are some pics that I took over the past couple of days. It was easier to post to Kodakgallery, so hopefully you won't have to log in.

Enjoy!

The Neighborhood by Ed Calimag

Day 7 - Mood Swinging

(I can't believe its been 1 week since I left the US...)

Today's visit kind of sucked and it was a short one. Mom was in a bad mood today and visibly irritated with me. I didn't go to the embassy as promised (I'm actually surprised that she remembered talking about this) so she went off on a rant about my not-being-able-to-follow-instructions. So I calmly asked her for instructions to which she became further agitated (she couldn't answer me as I suspected.)

Then the conversation turned to "what's new?" I came up with stuff...just my activities from the previous day and this clearly wasn't what she wanted to hear. So, I started talking about the news. Again, not what she wanted to hear. She'd toss her head in disgust and roll her eyes.

What a contrast to yesterday's visit which was quite pleasant. Welcome to the world of mood swings. I wondered to myself if she had taken her meds in the morning. I wasn't quite sure what triggered this swing, but I guess it doesn't require anything at all. At least she was emoting anger as opposed to no affect at all.

In an interesting experiment, I asked her if she wanted me to leave to which she said yes. I wonder how she'll be tomorrow. In a weird way I was punishing her by cutting the visit short. Now i'll see how she reacts to it (if she does at all.)

I went to see her doctor's secretary after my visit to settle the professional fees. This is actually turning out to be quite complicated. Its a cash-only system. No credit cards here. Ugh. So, I will have to go to a bank and do a massive cash advance since the ATMs limit the amount you can withdraw each day. Pain in my ass. When I paid her accrued hospital fees the other day, I had so many peso-bills that I had to wrap it in a rubber-band. Oh well, I knew that nothing would be easy on this trip.

I took a cab to another touristy neighborhood for dinner last night (Malate.) Went to a restaurant recommended by Lonely Planet but I thought that it was mediocre at best. I wandered the area afterwards (lots of bars and outdoor cafes) and came across a restaurant recommended by a friend. Its called something weird like House of Hobbits. All of the servers are dwarves. I'll definitely check it out at some point.

I interacted with some Americans at starbucks this morning. One guy had a Ron Jon backpack so I asked him if he had been surfing around the PI (he hadn't.) Turns out he was with a group of missionaries and he was originally from VA Beach and his sister lived in Fairfax. Small world. Since they were missionaries, I figured that they weren't so much into the local bar scene, so I bid them all a pleasant adieu.

Day 6 - Random Ass Observations

Since I'm here for a month, I was very conscientious about blending in and not sticking out. Tourists tend to be good targets for pick-pockets and getting ripped off by taxi drivers. I do have one thing going for me: I'm filipino-american. So if I just keep my mouth shut and smile a lot, I blend in with everyone else. BUT, its still easy to tell who is/isn't a tourist besides skin color.

Some tourist trademarks that I've noticed (and admittedly exhibit myself):

• Shorts - The majority of filipinos (and you'll probably find this in a lot of countries) tend to wear jeans despite the hot humid tropical weather. I think it has something to do with being modest about your legs. Who knows.
• Sunglasses - not very many people here wear sunglasses! So I do look like a bad-ass with my Ray-Bans
• Socks and sneakers - casually, most filipinos wear open-toed shoes, sandals, etc, unless they are in work-mode.
• Bottled water - the conscientious tourist drinks bottled water 24/7. I'm somewhat guilty of this, but have to admit that I've started refilling my water bottle with my hotel tap water. I figure I'll get some stomach illness at some point, so I may as well get it over with.
  

Some other random observations:

• I've been able to find SPLENDA here! Its sold in the supermarket (I bought a box), but isn't pervasive like it is in the US. I did find one coffee shop that has splenda (not starbucks), but they charge 5 pesos for one packet ($0.10.) I don't want to rot my teeth with sugar.
• The only kind of milk that is available is the Parmalat-type in boxes. None of that gallon jug stuff. Its either parmalat, condensed milk, or evaporated milk. Take your pick.
• I have seen the occasional white guy wandering the malls. Usually he's attached to his filipina bride. If he's by himself, he typically looks like a troll and I'd suspect he's here on some sex holiday.I was rather bold and struck up a conversation with a regular guy who I thought was American in a smoking lounge in the mall. Turns out that he was a Swede on tour. It kind of amazes me that Europeans would come here for holiday, but I think that they use Manila mainly as a springboard to the other islands with the really nice beaches.
• My meals have been relatively cheap. I can usually get a good hearty meal (1 meat, 1 rice, 1 side, 1 drink) for around $2 - 3 USD. Ironically, a large Iced Americano at Starbucks still costs me the equivalent of $2 USD.
• The language thing hasn't been so much of a problem for me. Everyone speaks some english, and luckily I speak some tagalog... so the combination of "taglish" makes for a sustainable conversation. I haven't had to whip out the filipino-english dictionary quite yet!

A couple random MUST-HAVES:

• Hankies. Lots of hankerchiefs because you will sweat your ass off.
• Baby powder - for EVERYTHING. For your hankies. I also turn my shirts inside out before putting them on and sprinkle on baby powder on the shirt. Uhh.. its also good to sprinkle some in your underwear so you don't get swamp ass.
• "Tsinelas" - aka flip-flops. useful for wearing around the hotel room's cold concrete and tiled floor

I'm sure I'll be making more odd observations throughout this entire trip. These just seem to come to me at the oddest times....

TTYL!
- ED

Day 6 - A Better Visit

Yesterday's visit with mom was much better than my first. Funny... I could tell that she was expecting my visit. She was groomed, dressed, and clean, whereas on my first visit she was completely disheveled. I'm glad to see this; it means to me that she looks forward to my visits.
I brought her sundries, some shirts, and the daily newspaper. A couple of tips for bringing gifts and items to mentally ill in-patients:

• No drawstrings or belts - this could be used to harm someone or themselves
• No sharps (eg, nail cutters) - again, could be used as a weapon.
  

I remember the same rules from the first time my dad and I brought items to her when she was first institutionalized in 1983 (I was 10.)

We had a very interesting conversation. A good analogy: imagine five different conversations going on in your head. Then imagine that these five different ideas can only stream out of you in one single string. The words and ideas are intertwined with each sentence. That's what our conversation was like yesterday. Favorite topics include

• politics (Who's the governor of PA? Who's the governor of Virginia? Who's the president of the USA?)
• terrorism (an odd diatribe on bombers, bombings, etc)her doctor (she wants to fire him and get a new one because she thinks he's poisoning her with medicine)
• false memories (she recalled a vacation to Hawaii - never been there)
• more rantings about the government and the Social Security Administration
• and some real memories (she does recognize my sisters, her own siblings, her home in Cabanatuan.)
  

When I graduated from undergrad in 1996, she came to the US that summer and vanished for months. Eventually, by tracking her through her credit card usage, we were able to determine that she was in NYC. Next thing you know, she's arrived back to the airport in Manila, thin and without any of her valuables and jewelry.

No one ever knew what happened to her on that trip. I could only speculate. In a way I probably don't want to know what happened to her. I do know that she was with a man (who was probably taking advantage of her, again only speculation), but nothing else beyond that.
During the course of our conversation she did make brief mention of being in NYC. Who knows if she was hallucinating or if she was speaking reality. I couldn't make any sense of it.

I was fine with the visit; not disturbed or freaked out or upset at her condition. Its was as much as expected. I do have to say that the readings I suggested in an earlier blog posting ("Surviving Schizophrenia" and "Crazy") have mentally prepped and steeled me for this experience.

I do have an interesting dilemma: I have a cousin who married an Iranian and moved with him to Iran after medical school to raise a family many years ago. Her son is now in medical school here in Manila. My aunt suggested that I get in touch with Ahmed so that we can hang out, but I'm kind of wary about it because of all of the current craziness in the Middle East. He's living with other Iranians in MNL. Anyways, my aunt will send a driver for the both of us next week to bring us back to Cabanatuan for my Lola's (grandmother) birthday. It should be an interesting ride to say the least.

Time to get ready... I need to get my Starbucks fix and then head to the mall before visiting mom today. I need to pick up some more clothes for her.

TTYL!

- ED