One last wacky posting for the morning...

Only in Russia can crazy sh*t like this happen...(well, in Florida too):

Lake disappears, baffling villagers (Reuters 05192005)

MOSCOW (Reuters) - A Russian village was left baffled Thursday after its lake disappeared overnight.

I love this quote from a disconsolate and bitter babushka (now trapped in the post-Soviet era):

"I am thinking, well, America has finally got to us," said one old woman, as she sat on the ground outside her house.

Yes. That's exactly it, Babushka. We wanted to fcuk with your little village by draining your goddamn lake. Nothing better to do over here than screw around with Russian peasant folk. You have your own government, military and chechen guerillas to keep you busy. Go drown yourself in some Stoli, sweetheart. We'll forget your little comment.

Afterwards, the lady was found queueing in line for her weekly ration of bread, potatoes, and liter of vodka, screaming loudly, "Spaceeba! Spaceeba! Dosvedanya!"

Caught on Tape...!

Don't you love those video scenes where the camera is mounted on the cop's dashboard, and its recording him/her with the other person pulled over? Its a predictable scene that we've all witnessed on TV. Though this one takes the cake.

A runaway truck SLAMS into the police officer as he's helping out a stranded citizen. You can actually see him getting slammed by what looks like a Ford Bronco (I remember from the old OJ days).

You can see the video and frame-by-frame slides here:
Truck Slams Into Sheriff's Deputy, But Only Minor Injuries (AP 05192005).



Luckily the cop survives. It makes you wonder, why on earth does another vehicle JUST happen to lose control at THAT particular spot and veer into an innocent cop who JUST happens to be helping out a civvie? Ah, the divine providence of it all...

The staff here at YB send their best wishes for a speedy recovery to Deputy Glen Pothen!

Those crazy kids...!

So remember in your high school yearbook, there were categories such as "Most beautiful" or "Most successful" or other bullsh*t like that? Well, times have definitely changed. Now there is a new category called "Most Whipped". Check it out:



Now, most of us are familiar with the jocularity of the phrase "to be whipped." Well apparently the girl's mom didn't know (or didn't have a big sense of humor):

School Orders Stickers To Cover "Most Whipped" Photo (AP 05202005)

This is my favorite part of the story:

Richards' mother, Jacqueline Nobles, said the picture reminded her of the poster for the 1970s miniseries Roots, which featured a manacled slave. Richards is black and Finley is white.

The AP forgot to mention that the manacled slave has a name. His name is KUNTE KINTE! It looks like Missy has been taking lessons from a certain PFC Lynndie England, perhaps? I think we have a future torturist here. Get her ready for combat duty! And Robert, dude, that's pretty fcuking humiliating to let yourself be photographed like that. No wonder you're "whipped". What did your momma have to say about this?!

That is just too fcuking funny. And here, the first thing that came to my mind was the whole dominatrix/servant thing. Goes to show you that my mind is in the gutter. I like the Roots connotation much better.

Congrats to Missy and Robert, and the rest of the Class of 2005. Your image and reputations have now been embedded into the permanent memory of the internet. Don't worry, since America tends to have ADD about sh*t like this.

Good luck trying to find a job now.

A YB-Recommended After-School Special Movie

Its probably just me... do you ever have those kind of days where all you do is periodically hit "refresh" on your work email for lack of anything else to do?

That's been me for the past 3 days. I'm projecting this lull to continue through til Memorial Day. Believe me, I ain't complaining. It gives me time to refocus the Force on the blog, eBaying, and other BS. Yesterday's highlight was seeing my therapist in the morning and then washing the dog in the afternoon.

The highlight for today: I was able to watch one of my all-time favorite movies, Searching for Bobby Fisher. Its a great feel-good flick if you haven't seen it. Plus its about a little boy and chess. How can you go wrong with that combo? Add it to your Netflix queue if you get a chance.

My friend SweetPea and I used to play chess all the time in undergrad at this trendy, smokey coffeehouse on the Southside of Pittsburgh called City Books. I love that place. I enjoyed playing chess, but was never that great at it... it required way too much strategery and foresight (I wasn't in touch with The Force back then), and I always tended to go on the offensive (not surprising). Anywhoie, the movie was a special favorite of mine and SweetPea's. Ok, I would have to say that my three favorite movies from undergrad had to be Searching for Bobby Fisher, The Joy Luck Club, and Clueless. Aladdin would be #4 followed by Beauty and the Beast. I loved Disney flicks and the soundtracks.

Ahh, fond memories of a more innocent time in all of our lives...

Police Search For Stolen Giant Wiener

Who the fcuk would want a 10 foot weiner?

Police Search For Stolen Giant Wiener (AP 05162005)

ROCK HILL, S.C. -- Police are looking for a hot dog that's really hot -- as in stolen.

Not actual weiner...

This is the best quote from the article:

"It's tough to hide a 10-foot weenie," Rock Hill police Lt. Jerry Waldrop said.

Seeing Paris... the WRONG WAY

Hmmm... why is it that people feel the need to jump off of stuff to get attention? Its not like they make money off of it or anything. Sometimes its going over Niagara Falls in a barrel. In this case its the Eiffel Tower.

Man Dies After Parachute Gets Stuck, Comes Off During Eiffel Tower Jump (AP 05172005)

PARIS -- A Norwegian man who leaped off the Eiffel Tower in a publicity stunt was killed after his parachute got stuck on an upper deck of the monument and came off, officials said Tuesday.

What a messy way to go. This is one of those stories that you read and say to yourself, "wow... that sucks, dude."

Not actual parachutist, but this guy really did jump off of the Eiffel Tower...thanks to Ogrish.com!

Kylie Minogue has Cancer

Ugh... I was just informed of this news by MaddyBeesh. I didn't know!



Kylie's cancer shock ends tour CNN 05172005

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN) -- Australian pop star Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer.

YB loves Kylie. Ever since I was a young jedi, I was did the Locomotion. She just wrapped up the European leg of her Showgirl (greatest hits) Tour and was about to start the Australian leg. Now the show has been cancelled/postponed :-(

What is it with pretty Aussie singers getting breast cancer? First Olivia Newton-John, then this other singer I came across, Delta Goodrem, and now Kylie (sigh)?!

Anyhow... big hugs and kisses from YB to KM for a speedy recovery! You can do it, gurl!

YB Movie Review: Hotel Rwanda

Last week I finished reading a book on the Rwandan genocide of 1994 (see earlier posting). It's a great book (highly recommend it). I put Hotel Rwanda on my netflix queue (the movie was based on the book)...As always, the cliche, "the book was better..." holds true in this case.

I told some friends about how I felt about the movie: "It could have been bloodier..." Don't get me wrong, it is a good movie. Add it to your netflix queue if you are interested in this kind of stuff.

I was expecting a bit much; a Schindler's List of Africa. I thought that it could have been as detailed and graphic as say that film or Saving Private Ryan in terms of horror, gruesome-ness, and gore. In that capacity, the movie was a let-down. Love Don Cheadle, but I don't know if I can say that his performance was necessarily worthy of an oscar nomination. It was just all very predictable (though, keep in mind, I did read the book which always heightens one's expectations).

If you want some evidence of the brutality of the genocide check out the following:

• WebSite on Murambi: the Hutus herded Tutsis into a college building under the guise that they would be safe in there. Wrong. Once thousands were packed in, the bloodshed began. Pretty nasty.
• Check out my previous posting on the book by Philip Gourevitch, "We wish to inform you..."
• Check out the History Channel's documentary called "Rwanda: Do Scars Ever Fade?". If you found the movie lacking in detailed gore and violence, this documentary MORE than makes up for it.

YB Movie Review Summary: Go see it if you don't know jack abt the Rwandan Genocide.

YodaBeesh goes commercial...

So after dinner tonight, I went for a walk to Wegmans to pick up some half-and-half.

Lo-and-behold I was shocked to see a life-sized replica of YodaBeesh next to the dairy aisle in Wegmans:

Call upon Yoda..If he answers, win YOU WILL

Praise the force for cameraphones. Many thanks to my sponsors at Pepsi (I'm still waiting for my check in the mail, bitches).

Fortune Cookie, Part II

A few posts ago, I blathered on about some fortune cookie story...

Anyhow, we went to China Buffet for dindin tonight (I had a strong craving for comfort food...). Here was my fortune:



On the money?

Wendy's finger-BS comes to a close...

FINALLY... they find out the original owner of the finger-in-the-chili... Man, this really screwed Wendy's over (as if it weren't doing poorly enough to begin with...)

Tailgate Blamed for Finger in Chili Claim (AP 05152005)

SAN FRANCISCO - The finger that a woman claimed she found in a bowl of Wendy's chili was severed in the tailgate of a truck during a work accident, an employee of an asphalt company said.

Helping the homeless...

Now this is what I'd call a sticky situation!

He 'misinterpreted' the situation... (Reuters 05132005)

BERLIN (Reuters) - The deputy leader of the German state of Bremen resigned after pouring sparkling wine over the head of a homeless man in an apparent joke that went wrong.

YP message to now-former-Deputy: Dude, this isn't a fcuking soccer match, and it definitely ain't GATORADE. Wow... that probably wasn't the best career move for you.

YP message to homeless man: Did you lift your face so that at least you could guzzle the magnum of wine? Do you look like the guy from Happy Gilmore? He had a bum for a caddy...

School regrets dog vivisection

Great way to start off the week... a fcuked up headline.

...here, Ginger...!

Ok this is seriously effed up. School regrets dog vivisection AP 05132005

A Utah high school expressed regret on Thursday for the vivisection of a stray dog as part of a biology lesson.

I did a bunny in physiology class (which was a screwed up experiment unto itself...).

My lab partner and I had a full-sized white bunny, fully conscious, white, fat, cute. Then we stuck it in a tupperware container, piped in anesthesia, sent it to la-la land, shaved the fur off, and then "went to town" on it. Bunny didn't make it through surgery. (sigh)

Don't FCUK with me FELLAS...

...it's not my FIRST time to the rodeo... (Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest)

Hey chirrens... had a great weekend in Cannes with the cast and crew to kick off the last Star Wars (puh-leeze) movie. B-yotches better give me my Palmes d'Or if they know what's good for them. I mean, HELLO... if they can give one to that crazy bitch BJORK, then I definitely think that YodaBeesh is definitely in line for one.



More stories to follow later...