The World According to YodaBeesh

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Warning: Your clever little blog could get you fired

A co-worker of mine (who shall remain nameless) sent me this funny, yet tragic article re. the drawbacks of blogging:

Warning: Your clever little blog could get you fired (USAToday_061505)

Luckily, I have never talked sh*t on my current employer because in my book, they're alright. Every company has its flaws, but I also believe that your job is what you make of it. Its called WORK-LIFE BALANCE, b*tches!

I mean, look at me...I am a very extreme example. I don't do JACK. Someone once described me as "living the life of Riley." (I had to look that one up.) I work at home, make my own schedule, show up for the occasional client meetings (the rare instance you will EVER see me wear a tie), IM with my project team, and do my tasks like a good billable little consultant. In there, I fit naps, siestas, trips to the therapist, lunch with friends, errand-running, and the gym. My dog gets to hang out with me all day long. And my life is better for it. Granted, I'll never make partner or principal (nor do I have any desire to), but who cares! Sure, I might not be living up to my "capacity" or "potential", but that's my choice, right?

I can hear it now from the upper echelons in their Ivory Towers, "tsk tsk tsk... so much potential..."

My response to that: "Dude, go play with your kids or something. Go read a book. Go get laid bc you look like you're going to have an aneurysm. Go get some sunlight and shut off your cellphone for an hour. Don't feel compelled to check your vmail every 15 minutes because the world AIN'T gonna end. Oh, and BTW, if you even answer and/or continue that phone call or start an email while I'm talking to you, I am totally going to walk out on you. Also do us all a favor and shut off that f**king phone during a meal. There is a very rare chance that some major cataclysm is going to occur in the 20 minutes that you're woofing down your Value Meal. Show some respect for me and for yourself."

Runaway Bride to make some Runaway MONEY



Can someone please tell my why this chick has such HUGE EYES? My guess it that she has that same disease that Barbara Bush (the granny, not the alcoholic) has. I think that's Crohn's Disease or sumpthin'. Anyhow, I hope the bling helps her out with her eyes and her relationship with her still-fiance.

Go get 'em girl!

Runaway Bride's Dowry Deal
Top Agent Offers $500,000 for Story Rights; NBC Gets Interview (WP 061605)

New York superagent Judith Regan has bought the rights to the life stories of runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks and her fiance after offering them $500,000 for a package that -- in an unusual twist -- included the first news interview with the couple.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

"30 Days" premieres tonight on FX!



Hey... so's I got an email from my friend and former tennis partner, Ails in WV:

Hello! Just wanted to remind everyone that the first episode of "30 Days" premieres tonight at 10 pm on FX starring Morgan Spurlock and his fiance Alex on minimum wage. David's episode airs on Wed. June 29th at 10 pm so don't forget to tune in. You can watch him as he lives as a Muslim for 30 days.

We just got back from LA yesterday. We flew out there to attend the "30 Days" premiere party on Monday where they showed Morgan's episode. The show is getting a lot of positive reviews from the critics. There's been articles recently in the LA Times, Entertainment Weekly, and Time Magazine. We're really excited about it so please feel free to e-mail me back and to let me know what you thought.

Take care!
Aileen


David has been touted as the "Christian insurance salesman." Anyhow, check out this pic of David I found on FX:


Oh, sh*t... WTF did I do now...?


This sh*t is definitely TIVO WORTHY. You hear that? TIVO WORTHY. Watch it!

You can read more about the show here: 30 Days on FX Network

NOTE TO MORGAN: Here's an idea for a future show -- plant a young, cosmo, same-sex-canadian-married, Volvo-driving gay asian YodaBeesh from Metro DC into a rural Deep South red state (I guess they're all red, huh?), and see how long I last without winding up in jail, sodomized, or lynched (or all of the above).

Dude... Bad News if you're a Goat...



Sometimes I just wonder how they come up with random a** stories in such prestigious publications such as the New York Times or Washington Post...

A Crossover Hit for a Global Star (NYT 061505)

A favorite quote of mine from this article:
Scott Conant was the first New York chef to make goat a signature dish at a high-end restaurant when he served capretto - roast baby goat - at L'Impero three years ago. The capretto was a dish his Italian grandmother made when he was growing up in the Bronx. "I would roast the hole kid the way she did," Mr. Conant said. "But it's tough to cook a whole goat in a New York kitchen."

He said "kid."

A YB Confession...

I have to admit that last night I purchased the Michael Jackson Number Ones album (legally downloaded via MusicMatch, thank you!). My purchase was validated by KweenBeesh, so that I knew that what I was doing wasn't morally wrong.



In retrospect, I think that this is my first official Michael Jackson posting! I refused to become embroiled in the daily gossip surrounding his trial. Think about the timing: first Terri Schaivo, then the Pope, and then MJ. I could only handle and write about so much sensationalism. Besides, I didn't think the MJ thing was worth writing about.

Anyhow, I knew he'd be acquitted. I mean, HELLO, this is the guy that made "THRILLER." I feel kinda bad for him (in the same way that one feels sorry for a freak in a sideshow). I loved his music when I was a kid in summer camp in the 80's.

I wonder if there will be some weird surge in sales now of his albums because of the outcome of this trial?

YIE UPDATE: And the tattoo parlor is...

Ok, so yesterday I stopped by JinxProof in Georgetown to check out pricing for my planned tattoo.




Its actually not going to be as bad as I thought... at least $200, give or take a few letters. I used the word "unbreakable" as my benchmark (I'm still undecided re. phrase.) They had a decent selection of font styles, and the guy there told me it would only take 1 hour.

So, I think I will go with JinxProof. The pricing is not as bad as I had originally anticipated. They're widely reputed (hey, if they are in Tattoo Magazine, they must be doing SOMETHING right!) Plus, I had a very good experience with them before when I got my nipple pierced:



I'm probably not going to do this until next week.

Oh those crazy Pakis!

So's I was reading the online NYT and came across this article (its currently the "most-emailed" on NYT). I figured, "hey, if people are emailing it to their buds, it must be good..."




Raped, Kidnapped and Silenced (NYT 061405)

No wonder the Pakistan government can't catch Osama bin Laden. It is too busy harassing, detaining - and now kidnapping - a gang-rape victim for daring to protest and for planning a visit to the United States.

Crazy. For shizzle.

I took an interest in this article particularly because I'm reading this book called Ghost Wars by Stephen Coll about the secret wars in Afghanistan (the Pakis had a big hand in it), and life under the Taliban regime. Anyhow, I have this picture in my head that all Taliban resemble the "Elbonians" made famous in the Dilbert comic strips:


Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Word of the Day: Skeet


Skeet skeet skeet...!
- Dave Chappelle


I have the second season of his show on DVD and it is HILARIOUS. Anyways, on one of the episodes, as he's monologuing the audience, he starts saying "Skeet, skeet, skeet...!" Then he continues to say (as the audience is laughing), "The funny thing is that white people have no idea what that means..."

So I took it upon myself to look this up as, admittedly, I had no idea what it meant (other than its traditional meaning. Check it out here: UrbanDictionary.com: Skeet

The Y.I.E: Financial Update

Hey buoys and gulls... thanks for your donations thus far! This will be extremely helpful in subsidizing my Tattoo efforts. So far, the total amount of donations is currently at $180.00, and I thank each and everyone one of you from the bottom of my heart. I still don't have a good estimate yet. I'm in G-Town today and will visit JinxProof to see if I can get an estimate.

I'm expecting the usual birthday checks in the mail from assorted family, and will probably just flat out ask my dad to subsidize a part of this effort (note: I am turning 32 today and gonna ask dad for a subsidy... how funny is that?). He has a tattoo... really cool of a crescent moon and a star on his left shoulder (or is it his right... I forget). Don't worry, he's not a jihadist. He told me that it was some fraternity branding thing that they did back in the 1960s. Nice. So I think he'd be proud of my ink-adventure.

On a final note... here's a cool pic I found of getting-a-tattoo-in-action:

DIG, BABY, DIG!

Happy FLAG DAY, B*tches!

(Sorry abt the gratuitous "b*tches" references... I've been watching a lot of Chappelles Show lately...)




Ah... what a day of patriotism. If this holiday were celebrated in any communist country during the Cold War, it would be akin to say, "May Day", or "<insert date of overthrowing bloody despotic regime> Revolution Day". I love the above pic as well... it just smacks of "Motherland"... or really in our case "Homeland".

Anyhow, some fun facts about Flag Day can be found here:
The History of Flag Day (This website seems to be a teachers' cliffs notes version of the history of Flag Day)
Holiday Insights - Flag Day (For those of you with limited time and prefer bulleted points, this is the place to go

and of course... my all-time favorite:

The National Flag Day Foundation (this just smacks of patriotism, mom's apple pie, and hidden stockpiles of guns in someone's underground bunker...) NOTE: Its a non-profit so all donations are TAX-DEDUCTIBLE (spoken like a true western capitalist).

Now, my challenge to you on this special day: Can you recite the Pledge of Allegiance without cheating?

A special shout-out to my ying-yang Gemini-Twin KLo. Happy Birthday KLO!!!! Oh, and yes, today is YodaBeesh's birthday as well! I'll be turning 953 and hanging out in the swamps of Tattooine. Speaking of which, I need to hustle on my tattoo activities...

Last but not least, a special shout-out to Mr & Mrs. B out in the Badlands (or not-so-badlands) of SD. Happy 36th Anniversary from your son, RAB, and his YodaBeesh. Is there going to be a special anniversary blurb in the Argus City rag? If yes, please scan and forward on so I can post it online. I can't wait to come out to visit!

Monday, June 13, 2005

YodaBeesh = Hi-Tech Revolutionary

Hey buoys and gulls

I was perusing this morning's NYT and found this interesting article abt wi-fi at coffeehouses and cafes. Fellow Jedis who are familiar with the YodaBeesh-work-life-balance mantra know that I frequent these locations and bill my clients. Its fab and trendy. Luckily you can't throw a stone in Metro DC without hitting a HotSpot. Its just so much better than falling asleep in the office...

Some Cafe Owners Pull the Plug on Lingering Wi-Fi Users (NYT 061305)