Day 6 - A Better Visit

Yesterday's visit with mom was much better than my first. Funny... I could tell that she was expecting my visit. She was groomed, dressed, and clean, whereas on my first visit she was completely disheveled. I'm glad to see this; it means to me that she looks forward to my visits.
I brought her sundries, some shirts, and the daily newspaper. A couple of tips for bringing gifts and items to mentally ill in-patients:

• No drawstrings or belts - this could be used to harm someone or themselves
• No sharps (eg, nail cutters) - again, could be used as a weapon.
  

I remember the same rules from the first time my dad and I brought items to her when she was first institutionalized in 1983 (I was 10.)

We had a very interesting conversation. A good analogy: imagine five different conversations going on in your head. Then imagine that these five different ideas can only stream out of you in one single string. The words and ideas are intertwined with each sentence. That's what our conversation was like yesterday. Favorite topics include

• politics (Who's the governor of PA? Who's the governor of Virginia? Who's the president of the USA?)
• terrorism (an odd diatribe on bombers, bombings, etc)her doctor (she wants to fire him and get a new one because she thinks he's poisoning her with medicine)
• false memories (she recalled a vacation to Hawaii - never been there)
• more rantings about the government and the Social Security Administration
• and some real memories (she does recognize my sisters, her own siblings, her home in Cabanatuan.)
  

When I graduated from undergrad in 1996, she came to the US that summer and vanished for months. Eventually, by tracking her through her credit card usage, we were able to determine that she was in NYC. Next thing you know, she's arrived back to the airport in Manila, thin and without any of her valuables and jewelry.

No one ever knew what happened to her on that trip. I could only speculate. In a way I probably don't want to know what happened to her. I do know that she was with a man (who was probably taking advantage of her, again only speculation), but nothing else beyond that.
During the course of our conversation she did make brief mention of being in NYC. Who knows if she was hallucinating or if she was speaking reality. I couldn't make any sense of it.

I was fine with the visit; not disturbed or freaked out or upset at her condition. Its was as much as expected. I do have to say that the readings I suggested in an earlier blog posting ("Surviving Schizophrenia" and "Crazy") have mentally prepped and steeled me for this experience.

I do have an interesting dilemma: I have a cousin who married an Iranian and moved with him to Iran after medical school to raise a family many years ago. Her son is now in medical school here in Manila. My aunt suggested that I get in touch with Ahmed so that we can hang out, but I'm kind of wary about it because of all of the current craziness in the Middle East. He's living with other Iranians in MNL. Anyways, my aunt will send a driver for the both of us next week to bring us back to Cabanatuan for my Lola's (grandmother) birthday. It should be an interesting ride to say the least.

Time to get ready... I need to get my Starbucks fix and then head to the mall before visiting mom today. I need to pick up some more clothes for her.

TTYL!

- ED