Commentary re. Terri Schaivo
I've been doing this now for 5 days (blogging) and I've already drawn criticism about my views. A response to an earlier posting prompted this feedback from someone:
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Anonymous said...
I am appalled by what you have listed on this "site". I had a beautiful little sister that was in a vegetative state. She could laugh, she smile, she would let you know what she liked and did not like. She was born this way. She did not ask for it. My sister survived off a feeding tube for ten years. Ultimately she died from complications of pneumonia.
People like you think she had no reason to live. She was a blessing and touched many lives. In fact she is THE reason doctors know how to successfully treat bicycle seizures. You are probably not familiar with bicycle seizures - they kill. There is no way around it. My parents were told that if my sister ever had one, that it would kill her - no way around it - just let her go. When my sister had one at age 10, my parents - frantic, realized she was getting no oxygen. My father (a sufferer of black lung) gave my sister pure oxygen within the first 30 seconds of the seizure - she came out of it immediately. This simple discovery is used world wide to save others (severely and not severely ill). So tell me, was her life meaningless?
I teach severely disabled children, some cannot communicate and need assistance eating. They can't tell me they want to live - should they be denied food? Keep in mind that this woman was denied all means of rehabilitative service. If she had received what every human being deserves, a chance, Terri could have been a very different woman today.The way you talk about this woman is sick. I feel pity for you. You speak on issues with which you have absolutely no experience. 5:44 PM
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Wow... where do I begin. First off I do not hate Terri nor despise her. Rather, I do care for her, which is why I want to see her suffering over. This caring is covered up by the cynicism of my blog entries. What I DO hate is the exploitation and abuse of the media, the judicial system, and the Federal and Legislative branches of our government. There are groups out there that are taking advantage of and benefiting from this situation. This story has done nothing but exploit her situation and overcomplicate, perhaps cloud the judgement of the American people (thanks, media).
So, let's take a step back to simplify matters, and remove everyone else from the equation; let's focus on the POVs of three entities (Terri, her parents, and her husband Michael Schaivo) and apply them to our own feelings and beliefs. We also need to take a 4th POV which is the interpretation of the Rule of Law.
I am very sorry about your sister. Your parents were her legal guardians and made decisions on her behalf in what they felt were her best interests, and apparently she thrived until she met her demise. Those were the rights of your parents. If I am correct, if you were over the age of 18 at the time and your parents were unable to execute their roles as her legal guardians, then you would be next in line. And then you would do what you feel is best for your sister. And I respect the decisions of your family.
Those same basic laws apply to the Schaivo case. The husband is the first-in-line legal guardian, the parents would be the second. I do not care if he is "with" another woman right now (not married) and has other children with her. That has nothing to do with this case. It is fluff that detracts from the pure facts of this case. This is a case of a husband, a wife, and her dying wishes being fulfilled.
You claim that she received no rehabilitative therapy. You are wrong. As a familial unit (Michael and the parents), they provided and afforded as much therapy as possible for Terri. Michael Schaivo became a registered nurse and respiratory therapist in order to be directly involved with Terri's care and treatment. It sounds like you have a college degree, and may agree with me that pursuing an undergraduate or grad degree is a taxing yet fulfilling endeavor. This is a huge testament to his love and devotion to her. Sure, she did not have a DNR or advanced directives laid out on paper and notarized. Sure, he tried to rehabilitate her as much as possible even though later he admitted that her wishes were to not be hooked up like this. He was self-admittedly selfish and wanted her to live. But now, all routes have been exhausted in terms of rehabilitation by him and by the family. She has been kept alive for the past few years basically out of legal wrangling or else she would have been dead already.
Are you married? I am "married" in the non-traditional sense (I'm gay) to my partner. He and I have in place our Living Wills and advanced directives in order to circumnavigate any complications should this type of situation arise. I love him and trust him so much that I am willing to put my life in his hands above those of my family and friends. I have made the conscious decision and proclaimed through our Canadian marriage that this is the person who knows what is best for me. That is the sanctity of our marriage. To reinforce that fact, we have all of our intentions and wishes documented and notarized by the Commonwealth of Virginia. I'll assume that you are married. I hope that you have the same faith and trust in your husband to execute your wishes. Whatever state you married in has recognized your husband in as much the same way (legalistically) and has bestowed upon him the right of legal guardian.
This is the same right afforded Michael Schaivo.
Now, regarding any dispute of Terri's wishes: because of the "sanctity of marriage" and the rights afforded marital status, we must trust Michael Schaivo to do what Terri believed and requested. He is her husband and legal guardian. As such, he is working completely within the Rule of Law. His rights supercede those of the parents.
Regarding the parents: I feel very badly for them. I know what it is like to watch a family member who was once filled with so much joy and vibrance to wither away to a shell of a person. My aunt is currently in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's Disease. And yes, she is on a feeding tube because the muscles and nerves in her mouth and esophagus have literally forgotten how to eat. CAT & PET scans reveal that her brain is liquifying. She is present and alive as a physical entity; the aunt that I once new and loved died a long time ago in my mind. I've grieved for that loss and now have moved on. All that is left is literally a warm fleshy shell of a person, laid out on a bed, with a feeding tube. Very soon her own autonomic system will betray her, and she will be unable to breathe any longer. I want what's best for her, and that is for my aunt to be with God and escape the confines of her decaying shell. That is my experience.
I want Terri to escape this suffering and to be with God because that is what she deserves after having suffered for the past 15 years. And yes, I'm sure there will be hell to pay, but so be it. This is not about what the husband deserves nor what the parents deserve. This is about a woman who made her wishes known; she deserves to have those wishes fulfilled and respected.
I do not know the children that you teach, but I wish I did. I would rather know you and your students as individuals so that I can understand where you are coming from. I can't do that through CNN, FOX, or MSNBC. This I do know: each one of them are special individuals with special individualized needs. It is unfair to make a blanket judgement on the entire class as to whether they should live or die. I would think that St. Peter, as an agent of our Lord, at the gates of Heaven evaluates each individual as an individual and not against some standard blanket benchmark laid down by man.
The laws of the land provide the structure and framework within we live and function as a society. This is a system not to be abused by politicians, Congress, the Executive Branch, state governments, and extremists. We must review and analyze each situation individually and work within the framework that we have set for ourselves. These laws did not magicaly appear. There is not a grocery list of laws. Laws and policies are created by legislators who represent us. We have our beliefs and values, and we elect our legislators in a democratic society. The are our voice, and laws and policies are products of our voices. The legislators should serve as our representatives and messengers, not as our parents.
One final observation I'd like to make: Terri's family, and many other people out there want her to live. Let's ask, "why do they want her to live?" What feelings, desires, needs within each of THOSE individuals (and even within ourselves) does Terri's life or death fulfill. Terri's mom and dad want her to live because I feel that it is in the primal nature of parents to want what is best for their child; the Schindlers are expressing this to an extreme point of desperation. What feeds and nourishes their souls out of this? A relief of guilt?
As for Michael Schaivo, don't judge him by his calmness or what some may perceive as aloofness on camera. He suffered a major loss 15 years ago. He has gone through the stages of grief, has come to acceptance, and is ready to let go and fulfill Terri's wishes.
I would welcome any constructive responses and feedback.
----------------------------
Anonymous said...
I am appalled by what you have listed on this "site". I had a beautiful little sister that was in a vegetative state. She could laugh, she smile, she would let you know what she liked and did not like. She was born this way. She did not ask for it. My sister survived off a feeding tube for ten years. Ultimately she died from complications of pneumonia.
People like you think she had no reason to live. She was a blessing and touched many lives. In fact she is THE reason doctors know how to successfully treat bicycle seizures. You are probably not familiar with bicycle seizures - they kill. There is no way around it. My parents were told that if my sister ever had one, that it would kill her - no way around it - just let her go. When my sister had one at age 10, my parents - frantic, realized she was getting no oxygen. My father (a sufferer of black lung) gave my sister pure oxygen within the first 30 seconds of the seizure - she came out of it immediately. This simple discovery is used world wide to save others (severely and not severely ill). So tell me, was her life meaningless?
I teach severely disabled children, some cannot communicate and need assistance eating. They can't tell me they want to live - should they be denied food? Keep in mind that this woman was denied all means of rehabilitative service. If she had received what every human being deserves, a chance, Terri could have been a very different woman today.The way you talk about this woman is sick. I feel pity for you. You speak on issues with which you have absolutely no experience. 5:44 PM
-------------------------
Wow... where do I begin. First off I do not hate Terri nor despise her. Rather, I do care for her, which is why I want to see her suffering over. This caring is covered up by the cynicism of my blog entries. What I DO hate is the exploitation and abuse of the media, the judicial system, and the Federal and Legislative branches of our government. There are groups out there that are taking advantage of and benefiting from this situation. This story has done nothing but exploit her situation and overcomplicate, perhaps cloud the judgement of the American people (thanks, media).
So, let's take a step back to simplify matters, and remove everyone else from the equation; let's focus on the POVs of three entities (Terri, her parents, and her husband Michael Schaivo) and apply them to our own feelings and beliefs. We also need to take a 4th POV which is the interpretation of the Rule of Law.
I am very sorry about your sister. Your parents were her legal guardians and made decisions on her behalf in what they felt were her best interests, and apparently she thrived until she met her demise. Those were the rights of your parents. If I am correct, if you were over the age of 18 at the time and your parents were unable to execute their roles as her legal guardians, then you would be next in line. And then you would do what you feel is best for your sister. And I respect the decisions of your family.
Those same basic laws apply to the Schaivo case. The husband is the first-in-line legal guardian, the parents would be the second. I do not care if he is "with" another woman right now (not married) and has other children with her. That has nothing to do with this case. It is fluff that detracts from the pure facts of this case. This is a case of a husband, a wife, and her dying wishes being fulfilled.
You claim that she received no rehabilitative therapy. You are wrong. As a familial unit (Michael and the parents), they provided and afforded as much therapy as possible for Terri. Michael Schaivo became a registered nurse and respiratory therapist in order to be directly involved with Terri's care and treatment. It sounds like you have a college degree, and may agree with me that pursuing an undergraduate or grad degree is a taxing yet fulfilling endeavor. This is a huge testament to his love and devotion to her. Sure, she did not have a DNR or advanced directives laid out on paper and notarized. Sure, he tried to rehabilitate her as much as possible even though later he admitted that her wishes were to not be hooked up like this. He was self-admittedly selfish and wanted her to live. But now, all routes have been exhausted in terms of rehabilitation by him and by the family. She has been kept alive for the past few years basically out of legal wrangling or else she would have been dead already.
Are you married? I am "married" in the non-traditional sense (I'm gay) to my partner. He and I have in place our Living Wills and advanced directives in order to circumnavigate any complications should this type of situation arise. I love him and trust him so much that I am willing to put my life in his hands above those of my family and friends. I have made the conscious decision and proclaimed through our Canadian marriage that this is the person who knows what is best for me. That is the sanctity of our marriage. To reinforce that fact, we have all of our intentions and wishes documented and notarized by the Commonwealth of Virginia. I'll assume that you are married. I hope that you have the same faith and trust in your husband to execute your wishes. Whatever state you married in has recognized your husband in as much the same way (legalistically) and has bestowed upon him the right of legal guardian.
This is the same right afforded Michael Schaivo.
Now, regarding any dispute of Terri's wishes: because of the "sanctity of marriage" and the rights afforded marital status, we must trust Michael Schaivo to do what Terri believed and requested. He is her husband and legal guardian. As such, he is working completely within the Rule of Law. His rights supercede those of the parents.
Regarding the parents: I feel very badly for them. I know what it is like to watch a family member who was once filled with so much joy and vibrance to wither away to a shell of a person. My aunt is currently in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's Disease. And yes, she is on a feeding tube because the muscles and nerves in her mouth and esophagus have literally forgotten how to eat. CAT & PET scans reveal that her brain is liquifying. She is present and alive as a physical entity; the aunt that I once new and loved died a long time ago in my mind. I've grieved for that loss and now have moved on. All that is left is literally a warm fleshy shell of a person, laid out on a bed, with a feeding tube. Very soon her own autonomic system will betray her, and she will be unable to breathe any longer. I want what's best for her, and that is for my aunt to be with God and escape the confines of her decaying shell. That is my experience.
I want Terri to escape this suffering and to be with God because that is what she deserves after having suffered for the past 15 years. And yes, I'm sure there will be hell to pay, but so be it. This is not about what the husband deserves nor what the parents deserve. This is about a woman who made her wishes known; she deserves to have those wishes fulfilled and respected.
I do not know the children that you teach, but I wish I did. I would rather know you and your students as individuals so that I can understand where you are coming from. I can't do that through CNN, FOX, or MSNBC. This I do know: each one of them are special individuals with special individualized needs. It is unfair to make a blanket judgement on the entire class as to whether they should live or die. I would think that St. Peter, as an agent of our Lord, at the gates of Heaven evaluates each individual as an individual and not against some standard blanket benchmark laid down by man.
The laws of the land provide the structure and framework within we live and function as a society. This is a system not to be abused by politicians, Congress, the Executive Branch, state governments, and extremists. We must review and analyze each situation individually and work within the framework that we have set for ourselves. These laws did not magicaly appear. There is not a grocery list of laws. Laws and policies are created by legislators who represent us. We have our beliefs and values, and we elect our legislators in a democratic society. The are our voice, and laws and policies are products of our voices. The legislators should serve as our representatives and messengers, not as our parents.
One final observation I'd like to make: Terri's family, and many other people out there want her to live. Let's ask, "why do they want her to live?" What feelings, desires, needs within each of THOSE individuals (and even within ourselves) does Terri's life or death fulfill. Terri's mom and dad want her to live because I feel that it is in the primal nature of parents to want what is best for their child; the Schindlers are expressing this to an extreme point of desperation. What feeds and nourishes their souls out of this? A relief of guilt?
As for Michael Schaivo, don't judge him by his calmness or what some may perceive as aloofness on camera. He suffered a major loss 15 years ago. He has gone through the stages of grief, has come to acceptance, and is ready to let go and fulfill Terri's wishes.
I would welcome any constructive responses and feedback.
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