Day 15 - Final Day in Cabanatuan

Wow. What a whirlwind 24 hours.

I stayed one extra day in CC by chance, and I'm glad that I did. My original plan was to return to MNL today (Tuesday), but my aunt needed to come to MNL as well and asked that I wait til Wed so that we could go together.

In the past 24 hours I've accomplished the following:

• Found a local psychiatrist who will take mom on as a new patient. Coincidentally, the new doc's mentor in med school was mom's current psychiatrist. That will make continuum of care a hell of a lot easier.
• Officially hired Ate Tess as mom's full-time care-giver. She's a cousin who helped watch over my nephew Ethan and ran our family household here in CC, so we are very close. Plus she's had experience seeing my mom at her worst and knows what to expect and how to manage it. I've given her carte blanche to manage mom's condition, act on her behalf, and interact with the doctor. I really trust her.
• Got a handle on mom's finances, bills, property and other administrivia. Things will be alright.

Each of these tasks required so much time and emotional energy. When I got home this afternoon, I just plopped into bed with a big sigh of relief. I almost wanted to cry as all of the pieces rapidly came together, but I realize that this is just the beginning. I'm only half-way through this trip.

Tomorrow, Jojo will drive Tess and I to MNL. Our first stop is the hospital. I meet with Dr. R (mom's current psych) to review her case history (thankfully, he has been her long-time psychiatrist so her file is probably as thick as a Bible), and begin the process of transferring all of the nitty gritty details to Dr. B in Cabanatuan. Also, we'll discuss the time frame for discharging mom. I honestly don't know when this will happen. My fear is discharging her too soon. I'll see what he has to say.

I'll also need to get my mom's buy-in to transfer to the new psychiatrist and to allow Tess to manage her care. I'm still thinking about how to approach this conversation. Its tough enough to negotiate with people when they are sane. Imagine trying to do so with a schizophrenic? I want to allow mom to have her autonomy (stay secluded in her room, go sequester herself in the Lexber house, go shop for things she will never use), on the condition that she remain compliant with her meds (fingers crossed), allow Tess to give mom her meds (and watch) at every dosing, and allow Tess to escort her to her bi-weekly check-ups/risperdal injections at the doctor's office here in CC.

On one hand, I know that one needs to be forceful. At points in time, mom will need to be treated like a child who refuses to take her medicine. I hope that most of the time, she'll just go along because its the easiest route.

When in doubt, there is always the threat of re-institutionalizing her. I know she doesn't like it. She's acknowledged that much to me already. I just don't find it to be productive to accomplish something by instilling fear in someone. It just makes things worse. Besides, its been proven time and again with my mom that it just doesn't work. She'll be discharged and then just relapse again months later.

My family here in CC have been extremely supportive. They are relieved to see me step up to the plate and play a proactive role in mom's care instead of passing the buck. They have their own lives and problems to deal with... our store is on its last legs and we'll close it down in the next year. My Lola just turned 96 and has a full-time caregiver by her side 24/7. My Auntie Adel isn't the best model of health either with her hypertension.

This afternoon, my aunt told me that she doesn't need to go to MNL anymore. I honestly could have left this morning. If I did leave, I wouldn't have accomplished everything that I did today. I'm glad that I stayed. Things just seem to work in mysterious ways.

I have a very very strong feeling that I will be back in CC before the end of this trip.

As a total aside, I love the show Arrested Development. In many of the episodes, the main character Michael mutters to himself "family first..." whenever he has to save his family from disaster. I can really resonate with that at this point.