YodaBeesh's Car-Identity Issues
I have car-identity issues. See, my problem is that I need to be unique. Eccentric. Difficult. (I wish they still made Peugeot here in the US.) Everyone else had Atari 2600 when I was growing up. NOOOOOOO.....I had to get a fucking Oddysey 2 with game cartridges and be the only one that could play such fantastic games as "KC Munchkin".
DH said I should think abt an MB C240. I'm scared of getting an MB. Like I'm not worthy. I have these weird stereotypes about cars and their owners. Here's my rundown of stereotypes:
Acura: Rice rocket. Why do asians and latinos always have to pimp out their fucking<insert jap/korean car manufacturer name here> cars?
Honda: "fucking boring". My sister's driving instructor once told her that FOBsters ("fresh-off-the-boat") tend to buy Hondas or Toyotas because they are so prolific throughout the third world. They stick with what they know... and I ain't gonna drive a CAMRY.
Lexus: I'm going to be STR8 UP here. I usually see some black man or woman rolling in one of these vehicles. So I think to myself, "wow, someone came across some money really quickly... and had to fucking blow it on their RIDE"
Beemer: conformist and boring. I think that people with Beemers only do it in the missionary position. Everyone in my neighborhood has a fucking Beemer 3-series or an X5. Since when did they go down in price? Plus they are all either silver or black, so I guess they ran out of paint selection at the beemer factory in Bavaria.
MB: (see my abv comments abt lexus). Plus, I associate MBs with old filipino doctors. I never made it to med school (failed expectations)
Jag: What is up with everyone getting Jags? They look like a Ford Taurus from behind. Reserved for the nouveau riche. I really like the back-up sensors on the bumpers! And WHY do I always see them in that SEA FOAM GREEN color?!
Volvo: Soccer practice. Except for DTB's C70. Great for crash-test dummies.
Infiniti: usually owned by some asian with diplomatic plates; can be found looking for a parking spot at Tysons Corner Mall.
Hummers: I am CONVINCED that inadequate people buy these vehicles. Particularly small-dicked males having a mid-life crisis.
DH suggested that I look at Chryslers (he really wants a 300); but I just have issues with American cars. I mean, can you guys really see ME (and I'm just talking me here) behind the wheel of a Buick or a Ford Taurus? I think not. When I think American cars, I automatically think of crash test dummies.
I think I'm leaning towards a Saab 93. I dunno. I've only seen one other Saab on our block. I can hear the neighbors now: "Oh yeah, there goes Ed, the one with that sharp saab!" Or they probably refer to me as "the fag on the block with so much disposable income that he has to buy a car every year @#$%$@%$#@%". Anyhow, DH and I test drove a 93 convertible the last time the Audi was in the shop (I was acting out by test driving cars). I have to admit that I looked really good in it.
I'll keep you all posted on the car situation. As for now, I am CAR-LESS.
DH said I should think abt an MB C240. I'm scared of getting an MB. Like I'm not worthy. I have these weird stereotypes about cars and their owners. Here's my rundown of stereotypes:
Acura: Rice rocket. Why do asians and latinos always have to pimp out their fucking<insert jap/korean car manufacturer name here> cars?
Honda: "fucking boring". My sister's driving instructor once told her that FOBsters ("fresh-off-the-boat") tend to buy Hondas or Toyotas because they are so prolific throughout the third world. They stick with what they know... and I ain't gonna drive a CAMRY.
Lexus: I'm going to be STR8 UP here. I usually see some black man or woman rolling in one of these vehicles. So I think to myself, "wow, someone came across some money really quickly... and had to fucking blow it on their RIDE"
Beemer: conformist and boring. I think that people with Beemers only do it in the missionary position. Everyone in my neighborhood has a fucking Beemer 3-series or an X5. Since when did they go down in price? Plus they are all either silver or black, so I guess they ran out of paint selection at the beemer factory in Bavaria.
MB: (see my abv comments abt lexus). Plus, I associate MBs with old filipino doctors. I never made it to med school (failed expectations)
Jag: What is up with everyone getting Jags? They look like a Ford Taurus from behind. Reserved for the nouveau riche. I really like the back-up sensors on the bumpers! And WHY do I always see them in that SEA FOAM GREEN color?!
Volvo: Soccer practice. Except for DTB's C70. Great for crash-test dummies.
Infiniti: usually owned by some asian with diplomatic plates; can be found looking for a parking spot at Tysons Corner Mall.
Hummers: I am CONVINCED that inadequate people buy these vehicles. Particularly small-dicked males having a mid-life crisis.
DH suggested that I look at Chryslers (he really wants a 300); but I just have issues with American cars. I mean, can you guys really see ME (and I'm just talking me here) behind the wheel of a Buick or a Ford Taurus? I think not. When I think American cars, I automatically think of crash test dummies.
I think I'm leaning towards a Saab 93. I dunno. I've only seen one other Saab on our block. I can hear the neighbors now: "Oh yeah, there goes Ed, the one with that sharp saab!" Or they probably refer to me as "the fag on the block with so much disposable income that he has to buy a car every year @#$%$@%$#@%". Anyhow, DH and I test drove a 93 convertible the last time the Audi was in the shop (I was acting out by test driving cars). I have to admit that I looked really good in it.
I'll keep you all posted on the car situation. As for now, I am CAR-LESS.
posted by YodaBeesh at
4:07 PM
1 Comments:
Okay no need to say Beemer drivers do it in the missionary position. In fact, I stive to NOT do it in the missionary position.
Anyhow, yes, the 3 series and x series are very common. I will never own them. 5 series are less common, but beaucoup bucks.
I won't even comments on the lexus, toyota, etc. although I really don't like the jaguars. I see them allll over the place.
I, too, and very afraid of the american cars, however the chrysler 300 is getting excellent reviews from all the mags.
Saab, funny...Sonia and I went to the BMW dealer and traded in her 9-3 saab for an x3 BMW. The saab started nickel and diming her. The hastle of having to return it because this window broke, that window broke, all 4 rotors and tired needing replacement after 20K miles...okay so some of the items were warranty..but some were not.
Sooo..in the end, the Saab was very very nice. The saab convertibles are very nice. I personally like the banana yellow!! But all cars have the potential to be lemons.
Good luck!
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Anonymous, at Monday, March 21, 2005 5:35:00 PM
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